the why

'... looking all around us

people everywhere

children having fun

while we are holding guns...'

- army marching song



these lines came into my head while the 5-tonner was trundling
along the road to the expressway early in the morning. Just beside my
vehicle I could see a multitude of people going about their business:
students clutching their files and bags, housewives with their
groceries and breakfast, and a whole host of other characters bustling
around wtih their daily routines.



these are the people we are training to protect.



I don't usually think of ns this way; usually I'm too caught up with
frustration and fatigue to keep such abstract notions in mind. It's
certainly useful though to get a reminder of the ultimate aim of all
the shit that I'm going through and have yet to experience: to churn
out someone who's competent enough to protect another person's sister,
mother, brother or some other loved one.



there's a purpose behind all this tough training. I just hope I can
remember it when I'm being roasted alive in thailand, or when I'm half
dead from lack of sleep. Maybe it'll give me the additional spark
required to see things through.