choosing your burden

I realised something today. Maybe I realised it a long time ago, and
then forgot about it (knowing my amazing powers of recall, this is a
highly possible scenario). But in any case, today I finally understood
something, and now I'm writing it down, both to share with you, and to
reduce the chance of me forgetting it in future.



What I realised was this: the past can be a burden, only if you want it
to be. Sure, it can cause you some pain, in the present and in the
future, but it's ultimately up to you to decide just how much pain you
want it to cause. If you choose to accentuate the positives, then it
won't seem to hurt so much. But if you keep emphasizing the negative
experiences you've had, you'll find that the past can cast a very dark
shadow over the rest of your life.



It's really a matter of choice.



Case in point would be my uni days. My 3 years in UCL haven't exactly
been the happiest of my life, I admit. I wasn't mature enough to deal
with many things; in particular, I didn't know how to cope with
personal setbacks. Consequently I believe I missed a lot of
opportunities to make friends, see new places and generally have a
whole lot more fun. This is probably the greatest regret of my life so
far.



Usually, whenever I think of my uni experience, I've been focussing on
what I've missed out. But I realize that there's also quite a bit that
I've gained from those 3 years. Like the friendships that have been
made and maintained. Like learning how to deal with failure. Like
seeing more of Europe than most people will in a lifetime. I've done
all this during my uni days, and more. I should remember it, and
cherish it more.



Sure, my uni life was probably less spectacular or wonderful than a lot
of other people's, but in its own way it was a rich personal
experience. It's about time I stopped moaning about the bad bits, and
start focussing on the good ones. Life's too short to keep letting the
past drag me down.