forget atkins, try field camps

'this exercise is f-ked up.'



this was one of the most popular comments during the 5 days outfield,
especially during ex spade, which was the platoon defence exercise.
It's probably the most feared exercise in the whole of ST2, and with
some justification.



the field camp was split into two: the first two days were spent
learning about platoon attack, and wed to fri was ex spade. The attack
bit was relatively simple, especially for my platoon, which drew the
(theoretically) easiest mission. But this good fortune was negated by
our defence mission.



morale was already low at the start of ex spade (its hard to be happy
when the tougher half of the field camp is still looming in front of
you), but it quickly plunged further when we found out the location of
our defence stores. It turned out that we had to carry our stuff
(pickets, planks, digging tools, concertina wire etc) up and then down
a knoll to reach our defence positions. And the dumbest thing about it
was that our defence position was next to our admin area. So instead of
having to move our stores say 100 metres along a gentle slope from
around the admin area to our platoon sector, we had to carry everything
a few hundred metres over a steep knoll, in the blistering afternoon sun, to reach the same destination. Talk about f-ked up.



there's a reason for this apparent idiocy: our instructors wanted to
simulate an actual mission as much as possible. And because our admin
area was supposed to be closer to the 'frontline', it didn't make sense
to have the stores dumped there. Which begs the question why the admin
area was where it was in the first place. But enough about that.



for me, the worst thing about ex spade wasn't actually the digging.
Although it was bone-tiring work, I was quite happy to endure it. But
ex spade made me rediscover my dread of heat and the SAF helmet. Now,
either alone would be fine. But working in scorching afternoon heat
whilst being forced to wear the SAF helmet is an excruciating
experience. It feels like your brains are being cooked over a slow
fire, and that's because they are. It's so bad that you can stand in
the shade and still drip buckets of pespiration. The rest of your body
is cool, but because your head is roasting the sweating doesn't ever
stop. And no you can't officially take off the helmet (according to our
wing commander, of whom my opinion has changed tremendously after the
last few days). Not even when you're taking a break or when absolutely
no one is using any hard digging implements within 50 metres of you.
After all, it might suddenly rain cats and dogs, right? And always
remember: safety starts with SAF.



too bad stupidity doesn't.



so we had to dig and dig for about 48 hours straight. It was tough
work, but I was lucky coz I had relatively soft ground to work with,
and a digging buddy who was really good at the digging and camouflage.
So it was almost enjoyable, although not being able to sleep was a real
pain, especially during the hours before dawn. I never realised how
cold it can be in the forest at 4 am; sometimes digging was preferable
to resting, because it let me stay warm.



the lack of sleep had some interesting effects, especially during the
nights. For one thing, everyone started to babble. I finally found out
how one can go to sleep standing up (but it doesn't stay that way for
long). And its amazing what you can hallucinate. My buddy saw a machine
gun team appear from nowhere, and personally I just saw shadows and
leaves meld together to create faces and figures in the night. If I
hadn't been forewarned about hallucinations I'd have been a little
spooked. As it was I found it amusing.



to be fair, there were a few memorable moments. Like being praised by
my instructors for having one of the best fire trenches in the platoon
(for which my buddy takes most of the credit; I just did the easy
bits). And having all 28 of us singing a song whilst packed into the
platoon command post on the last day. And, of course, the smell of a
uniform that's been worn and soaked through with sweat for 48 hours.



so in the end, I survived ex spade. There were some incidents that were
truly f-ked up, but they were redeemed by a few memorable experiences.
Fun? Not really. But definitely something I'll remember. And it's
taught me quite a few things, like how it's possible to carry on
functioning with very little sleep. Never thought I'd be able to do it.




and yes, I lost more weight. 4kg in 7 weeks. How's that for a diet program?