Err..

Been thinking rather more morbid thoughts today. Like how fast things
can change. How fragile life is. How impotent we are in the face of
circumstances.



And how crap I am at comforting people.



If you had a scale that rates people's ability to comfort others, I'd
probably rank somewhere below 'hideously deformed syphilitic serial
killer'. I don't know why it's so bloody awkward to find something to
say that'll make other people feel better. It's not like I don't
believe what I'm saying. It's not like I'm being hypocritical or
condescending. But it's amazingly difficult to a) think of what I want
to say, and b) actually say it.



It doesn't help that I'm hampered by an increasingly limited
vocabulary. Tip-of-the-tongue syndrome is extremely irritating. And
running out of words to describe what you want to say isn't a whole lot
of fun either. It's so.. erm.. erm.. irritating.



Seriously wondering what's happened to me. I suspect that NS has
progressively transformed parts of my brain into slush. The parts that
are responsible for higher mental functions and logical speech have by
now been almost totally melted and absorbed by my intestines to fuel
the ravenous needs of my body.



And I still have 10 months to ORD. At this rate, NS wil soon turn me
into a mindless lurching.. er.. er.. thingy.. like.. you know.. thingy..



arrgh...