jaded

[all the text mysteriously disappeared
the first time I tried saving this. So I had to type everything again.
When you're down, even your comp conspires against you.]



spent the last few days pigging out, trying to make up for the
deprivations of brunei. Never have I spent so much time and energy on
eating.



there are a few salient memories I have of brunei. It was basically a
frenzy of hurried activity, little sleep and virtually continuous rain.
I wouldn't ever want to go through it again. No freaking way.



I know there are people who actually have fond memories of brunei, or
at least JCC, the jungle confidence course that's the 'highlight'.
Personally though, JCC was a pretty close approximation to hell. One
thing's for sure, as I found out during my solo survival portion of the
course, I'm a city boy through and through. The only jungle I'm
comfortable in happens to be built of concrete, glass and steel. As for
the natural ones, the ones teeming with tall trees and threatening
thorn plants, let's just say that I have a lot less sympathy for
environmentalists now.



to be fair, there were some useful takeaways from JCC. Like learning to
push myself to accomplish set goals; like finding the true colours of
my platoon mates (there's nothing like being cold, wet, hungry and
tired all the time to bring out a person's character); like developing
some genuine respect for a few of my instructors and peers.



my entire platoon managed to pass JCC, which was quite an acheivement
considering our wing's record wasn't that great. Still, now that the
badge's been sewn on, there isn't as great a sense of accomplishment or
pride as I imagined. It's more of a feeling or tired recognition: one target met, many more to go..



I think I need a break.



finale ex coming up tmw. The other two scholars in my platoon are going
to hold appointments I think. That's coz they're going to be evaluated
for possible honours come comms parade. I hope they get them, coz they
really are deserving. As for me, I just want to go through the whole
thing with minimal fuss and involvement; I'm that apathetic right now.



the last four weeks are going to be a stretch.